dancing into the moonlight...

9:27am: Help!

Hey!

Does anyone here know a contact for a manufacturer of pep uniform / dance apparel?

4:41pm: let's dream!

12:43pm: another step forward

I sincerely thank you all for the continuing support, encouragement and kind words. I really appreciate it. :)

5:45pm: of lines and love
“It's been said that there's one word that will free us from the weight and the pain of life. And that word is love. And I believe that. That doesn't mean that it hasn't been hard, or that it won't be. It just means that I've found a stillness and a bravery in myself when I'm with you. You make me brave. And I will love you until the end of time.”

6:17pm: proposal

1:43pm: of life and songs

Physics tells us that everything on this planet will fail us eventually. Trust someone, fall in love: your scars will tell the same story. Entropy, pain, beauty, love, hope... mix them together and call it living. The choice that remains is where we go to find meaning and truth. The biggest failures and disappointments in my life have led me to look beyond what money or power or friends can buy. When you're face down at the very bottom of who you are, and there is no formality or pretence to cling to, all your masks fall off. In this broken place, our lives can be seen for what they are, no more no less; we are ourselves. The question is this: What happens after the twin towers in our lives fall? Do we become bitter and hateful or does redemption come into focus? I've been on both sides...only one is beautiful.
By: Jon Foreman, Switchfoot

11:05am: tara, biyahe tayo

It has always been my dream to travel. I was so ecstatic to have gone to some places this year and it is only half of 2007 (oh mehn, ambilis, 6 months have passed already).

 

Who wouldn’t forget, Cameo, my best travel buddy? Travel photographer, why not?! J

 

After that fun trip to Laiya, I had another beach escapade to... Boracay! I’ll just let the photos do the writing.


sailboats galore


let me live here forever



with some added insanity along the way

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This is, by far, my best birthday present. I spent 4 glorious days in Hong Kong and although the weather is a bit off (Note: humid and rainy) and my feet reached its limit of walking (thank God for walkalator and flipflops), it was amazing to be in a different place, and exploring on our own with a map, a water bottle and camera on hand. 


times square


Mickey train!


good finds!


3d, here we come!

3:15pm: know my heart

Sitting under the bed of moonlight, waves creating melody with the air, grains of sand pressing softly on our skin – it is a spellbinding thought, just you and me, in mutual loving silence.

 

10:39am: goodbye, Daddy

I can vividly remember his warm embrace when our family visits their home in Tarlac. I always step back, for I know that he will pinch me so hard and tousle my hair all over. That's how Daddy (as we call him), my grandfather, expresses his affection to us. He has this big smile on his face, rarely with a frown. He was a military veteran officer, who, in anytime of the day, would generously do anything to help a fellow veteran.

When Daddy had his first attack of stroke several years ago, he fought thoroughly to survive, although most of his memory had been erased and we all just laugh when we ask him who we are, then he would answer "Luz" (Mommy, my lola) or his Mamang, his mother. 

Little did I know that last Tuesday would be his last sleep. He had his permanent rest. A very peaceful one.

I am sure Daddy is happy wherever he is. With a big, wide smile, as always.

10:07am: his day

Happy happy birthday to my dearest, Tatts!!! 

Like what you always say, stay strong and dream BIG!


i miss you :)

2:15pm: I just wanna be on the beach...

...Sunburn!

After more than a year of not seeing the shores, i finally got that chance. Even better, I spent the beach weekend with my college friends. My best travel buddy, Cameo (whataname!) never failed to capture those crazy shots. Yeeehaaa for multibursts!


On top


don't you just love hugs?


I am so proud they did Yoga poses! :)

More photos on my Multiply.

5:44pm: Not-so Holy Week

Four days with my four crazy friends. I had an amazing time!

I've been to Baguio before but this one is different. It was not the usual parks and flowers, rather, those must-go places (for the artsy and laid-back type like me) that I didn't know Baguio has. Of course, the glutton that we are, we tried every food and drink in each place we visit. From Hot Choco, Strawberry Taho, Camote Bread to Pinikpikan, we had gone far beyond our tastebud's limit. I never really thought that Baguio can be a haven for me. I would rather lounge in sand and water, but this one is an exception. 

Perfect weather. Heavenly places. Of course, added with good company. =)

I better bring a date next time.

X's: No one was harmed during this trip. Everything went in smoothly, and yes, Ian is still straight. 


Oh My Gulay, La Azotea

Forest House


Better bring a date here

Pouting Session

More photos on my Multiply

3:00pm: Zzzzzzzz

I have got to stop these sleeping episodes at work!!! Consistenly, at the strike of 3-4pm, my eyes start drooping, my head becomes very light and my mind wanders away. This is what they call stolen naps, which are far better than the usual night time sleep. I don't know the cause of my unusual sleeping pattern, maybe I am just too tired. Tired from waking up at 6am, just to beat the other MRT commuters to get a space which I will endure from North to Ayala station. After which, another long queue for the jeepney ride waiting as i fill my lungs with Carbon Monoxide (free blush-on, anyone?). Working the same banana reports, eating at the same pantry and before I knew it, I'm dozing off again. Come 630-7pm, I run off yet again to another harassing MRT ride. 

I love to vent after my stolen slumber. This keeps me sane, for the very least.

Quoting my dear friend, Dolorfino Nitroso, keanoidd

 "Hala, get back to work. Magsumikap kaaa! See you tonight. Jam tayo later with Gelli!"

 Now that's better.

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x's: We're here for you,

noelledeg. You can overcome this.

 

12:56pm: breathless yet full of life

I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

 

I saw this in a printed orange paper posted on our mini white board at the workplace. It really struck me, which made me reflect on where I am today. Looking back, there were moments that I would love to rewind and change to see if my present would still be the same. Same goes with my most cherished memories; if only time would stop ticking I would stay there forever.

 

From that hopeless pessimist state, I emerged into an independent, livelier person, like in my college days, only better. When he left more than a year ago, I thought my world ended, literally. After giving in so much, I finally learned to get up and move on with my life. I realized how much blessing this has become, and I am glad to have experienced it. Amidst the emotional rollercoaster I’ve ridden, all I can say is, it was worth the ride.

 

This has been quite a journey,  surely, there will be more to come. Looking beyond what my eyes can see, there are endless possibilities awaiting to be unraveled. 

Let’s see what will happen next.

12:04pm: Muchos Gracias!

I have been working my ass off the past few weeks just to prepare for my video presentation. Grabe, that was the longest 1 hour of my life. A major relief that it’s over!!!

I had a great time throughout the whole class. I was nervous, yes, but seeing some familiar faces were enough for me to feel at ease.

 

Awards Night Effect

A shoutout of BIG THANKS to:

 

• Tatts, need I explain more? =)

• my loving parents, for keeping up with me, even if this is the first time that I was given a curfew after 21 years of partying. If you only knew what I was doing back then (hahaha) . I love you both.
  

• Abby and Ian (who attended for the first time), Dwight, Miguel, Edward, Joanne B and Kurei. Thanks for your support!

• Tita Susan, for being a lifesaver and letting us borrow her handycam. Your love for Body Balance is truly inspiring!
  

• Doni, keanoidd my stage mom (or dad?), for the support and encouragement. You truly are the mentor of all mentors *wink* but seriously, my dear, a heartfelt thanks to you, for being there, not just for J, but for me as well. I really appreciate it.

• Lastly, to my mentor, James, gosh, I don't know where to start.. *tears*  Thank you, from the bottom of my not-so-broken heart (haha). For spending time, generously sharing everything you've got, to help me improve. Even if i catch you yawning while I teach (bored na? haha), then surpisingly, showing a whole list of feedbacks afterwards (with dessert, of course). For your support and encouragement from being a scared shitless girl during audition and training up until I started teaching. For keeping up with my craziness and drama, and for being there not just as a mentor, but as a friend. 

I know it will take a couple of months before I get the result of my Certification (*fingers crossed*), but hey, whatever the outcome will be, I'm so glad to have gone through all of this. I have been so exhausted for the past few weeks, dozing off literally at my day job (with dreams ha). I learned to sleep everywhere, even in the mrt while standing, that once I pass out, my knees weaken and drop, and I have to pretend I'm adjusting myself to save my face from embarassment. I even learned to eat while walking, I didn't have time to eat that I buy stuff from stalls and eat them while rushing off to class. I  may be living a sabog lifestyle, but  I actually enjoy  every bit of it!

This is a whole new experience that I will never ever forget. Truly life-changing, having to discover something that I am so passionate about and having to share that passion to everyone. =)

10:48am: moving on

after much drama yesterday, i finally made the decision to turn down the opportunity. i admit, it was a tough choice, and added to my agony when they said, "thank you kristel, we understand." i've been crying quietly in my workstation, avoiding to feel that regret. i guess everything came in at the wrong time, and i have to concentrate on other things. sunday, specifically (that's another story). hopefully, everything will fall into place next time.

----

another story (how creative, geez)

i will experience the longest hour of my life on sunday. i know, i know, this should be relatively easy since i've been doing this for months already, BUT, this is not just an ordinary class. i will be sending a video of this class for certification... waaaaaaah! the thought of it makes me *shudder*. i hope i won't fall off on the balance track, or squeak my voice while my abs are on fire or say the wrong cues, get barok in the most silent moment, or get totally blank on the choreo (especially tai chi!)... hayayayay! every worst possible scenario running through my mind.

one deep inhale. aaaaaaand exhale. =)

2:20pm: no regrets
i simply said "no" without a blink, without questions, without thinking twice. well, i did, after a few seconds then i'm okay again. i was frustrated upon sharing this to my parents, which kept on pushing me take it back but then again, this is my life, right? my own decision, not theirs to ask. i just shared what i did and that's it.

phew. there's no turning back now.

coincidentally, that night when i was rushing off to class, i received a sign (fine, a text message), one that i have been hoping for a loooong time.

i was amazed with the sudden turn of events, one morning, made the hardest decision i've ever made, then came another door, the door that i have been wanting to enter yet afraid to knock on to. suddenly opened. yes, God is good, that is all i can say. maybe it was a sign, whether or not i'll be tempted to veer away for security's sake. i just can't stay on the safe side forever. no more what if's, buts, or what could have been's. even if my family is against it, no one can stop someone's heart to lead into something it does not yearn for. i admit, i am scared when i fully enter that door, uncertain of what is inside. but whatever that is, i'll be ready.

i know, my heart is.

5:50pm: she dances...
i got this from Clang's blog and I just have to share it.. =)

"What makes you happy?"

"Dancing."

"There you go. Why does it make you happy?"

"..............Well.."

"Maybe because you're good at it."

"Not really."

"Then why?"

"I don't know..It just does."

She faces the mirror with gleaming eyes. Today's the day.

Excitedly, she puts on her make-up: just a touch of confidence in the eyes, a dab of childlike innocence on the cheeks, and just a hint of laughter on the lips. She fixes her short messy hair up into a ponytail, lots and lots of hairpins to keep it in place. Perfect. She can't wait to dance.

She puts on her costume. At the back of her closet, she finds a pair of comfortable sweats, the fit just right. Hurriedly, she pulls out one of her mom's old sweaters. She steals a glance at the mirror again. Perfect. As always, she's forgotten her dancing shoes. But there's simply no more time to lose. Barefoot and all, finally, she's going to dance.

She gets on the stage cheerfully clad with all sorts of adornment that only she could see. The empty wall behind her carries the breathtaking backdrop exactly the way she pictured it to be. The orchestra is now ready to play. Perfect. Everything's in place. It's now time to dance.

And she dances....

....to a sweet, soothing melody playing in her ears, she dances. The spotlight's on her, carefully catching her every move. She dances happily, without a single care in the world. Jete. Pirouette. Arabesque. She dances. The steps flow elegantly into every inch of her body, gracefully capturing the every emotion her soul wears. The rhythm now in sync with the beat of her heart.

Beads of sweat begin to trickle down her forhead onto the wooden floor. But she's not going to stop. Not yet, at least. For some reason unclear to her, she isn't at all tired. So she continues dancing. Spiritedly and passionately, she dances, plunging herself into the silence she calls music. Her calloused feet and aching back are simply well-compensated by the reassuring sensation all these bring her. Compensated by the feeling of believing she's the best dancer in the world, though sickled and all. Then she stops for a bit.

Her bright eyes set on the empty audience in front of her, she smiles. Yes....she'd been dancing for herself all along. No wonder she'd felt so free. No wonder she'd been so happy. In the mirror she sees this simple girl, sweatdrops glistening on her skin. Her cheeks flushed. Her bare feet dirty. Her hair messed up, hairpins missing. Her eyes beam more brillantly. Perfect...

And she dances once again.

12:35am: mooniful tonight
did you guys notice how beautiful the moon was a while ago? gosh, if i only have the right cam, i would capture that mooniful night :-)

song for the night (i remember that Tai Chi move in this song.. ;p bagay sa mooniful evening)

SARAH McLACHLAN - Push

Every time I look at you the world just melts away
All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections
You've seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe

I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe
No matter what I say or do 'cause you're to good to fight about it
Even when I have to push just to see how far you'll go
You wont stoop down to battle but you never turn to go

Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me
There are times I cant decide when I cant tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I'd drown
But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm OK
Sometimes thats just what we need to get us through the day

3:32pm: Nikewomen
My favorite release of Nikewomen apparel made for dancing (i know, i'm biased!).

http://www.nikewomen.com.ph

and of course try out the NikeRockstar class (along with your Nike clothes haha!), you'll definitely have a blast :-)

7:15pm: ay graaaabeeeee...
im back... hahahaha :-)

miss you all LJ friends :-)

8:08pm: updaters!

finally!!! so much has happened this past few months and i don't know where to start. i'll do this, enumeration style hahaha!

1. HE's baaaaack!!! wow! soo happy! :) someone spoiled it naman..tsktsktsk. (you owe us, kupz  hahaha!)

2. got a great job! i started last October under a multinational bank group. my teammates are all super nice. :) i cried on one tragic data, and they just laughed at me. hahaha!

3. reunion with college blockies! we had dinner at the Superbowl and lots of catch up stories were told. this xmas ulit ha? i hope matuloy yun. :)

4. i saw some old firends. mostly pepmates. CB and our jeep-mrt kwentuhan haha! Daldalan with Grisha in Eastwood. i even saw JK in Rockwell. i miss you all pepmates!!! sayaw tayo ah! :)

so far, i don't have internet at home. stupid pldt topak so i'm still settling in the internet cafe. hahaha.

miss you all LJ friends! :)

9:49pm: up-up-updaters
i went to Eastwood last night with Mitchie and watched the 40 yr old virgin. we had dinner at Jack's Loft, and just when i thought we're done eating, she craved for dessert. hala, she ordered this big serving of eclair with whipped cream and vanilla ice cream. wow. all her workouts at the gym went down the drain. hahaha! good for me though, i need to gain weight. hahah. this morning, i took the civil service exam in cubao with only 4 hours of sleep. i was so bangag after that. then mom and i went to Gateway for lunch and tried out the LazyBoy cinema. with only 50 seats plus free refill of popcorn and drinks, it sure felt like first-class. hahaha. oh, and i cooked again. my second meal: risotto with mushrooms, asparagus and brocolli. im so happy my dad loved loved it. or maybe he's just being nice hahaha. :)

4:25pm: enumerated random choochoos
1. finally the phone rang! yeahboi! :) it's too good to be true. thanks Kuya Jess :)
2. my matchmaking is in process but so far i've been getting good results from my friend. hahaha! i think i should make a career out of it. hahaha!
3. i cooked for the first time. as in i cooked real food ( i know how to cook instant naman haha). behold, my pasta and vegetable au gratin. according to my food critic (Cai, yessss. culinary expert!) it lacked salt and pepper haha BUT it has potential. yehess! i hope you're not saying that because you're my friend. hahaha!
4. i love Gavin Degraw's album. thanks Mixie!
5. i cant wait for December. :)

1:01pm: powerbooks galore
To all book lovers, Start your early Christmas shopping at POWERBOOKS' WAREHOUSE SALE! Enjoy up to 70% discount on new and best selling titles! Visit our warehouse from 10am to 7pm at 126 FMF Business Center St. Mandaluyong City (beside 7-11) from October 14, 15, 17 to 22, 2005. Enjoy your book shopping! See you there!

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please let the phone ring... argh!